My mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed.
Cat doesn’t know what to do with the butterfly that flew on its paw.
I can’t breathe I’m laughing too hard
toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”
do you ever look back at your mistakes
unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person
I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER
a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost